The book, companion journal/workbook, audio book.

and NOW
the self paced online course

The Smart Step-by-Step Plan.
Divorce with Dignity, Save Thousands
and Protect Your Sanity

WATCH THIS VIDEO FIRST! (SOUND ON!)

>>>or scroll down to learn more

you are considering divorce. 

Your head is swirling with questions!

How do I even get divorced?
Do I need a Lawyer?
How much is this going to cost and how long will it take?
How am I going to get through this?
What do I do first?

These are exactly the questions you should be asking yourself.

This Is Where Better Divorce Blueprint™ Comes In

Better Divorce Blueprint™ is a holistic, step-by-step program designed to guide you from the first whisper of “I think I might want a divorce” to walking confidently into your next chapter— without wasting years, losing your savings, or dragging your family through unnecessary trauma.

I created this for smart, heart-centered people who want to:

➡ Avoid court if at all possible
➡ Keep their private life private
➡ Save tens of thousands on unnecessary legal fees
➡ Protect their kids and co-parenting future
➡ End their marriage without regret
➡ Be able to show up at their kids’ weddings without tension or shame

Real People. Real Divorce. Real Results.

These aren’t just “happy clients.”
These are people who avoided six-figure legal fees.
Who co-parent without chaos.
Who found peace in a process designed to break them.

Karen B.

“More than a coach—she’s a lifeline.”

Paulette blends fierce truth-telling with nurturing support. She helped me exit a toxic 22-year marriage with my self-worth intact. The Divorce Survival Kit gave me my first breath of hope, and her team made the next steps clear, manageable, and even empowering.

Michelle K.

“From fear to freedom—with grace.”

Better Divorce Academy is not just a brand—it’s a movement. Paulette walked with me through every hard moment, teaching me how to advocate for myself. Her book, workbook, and course felt like a warm hand on my back when I needed it most.

Stephanie W.

“I got my life back. For real.”

High-conflict divorce had me doubting everything. Paulette helped me untangle the chaos and find my power again. Her insight into legal traps, emotional abuse, and financial control is unmatched. My only regret? Not calling her sooner.

Better Divorce Blueprint is for you if:

  • You’re contemplating divorce, unsure where to start, but certain you can’t stay stuck in this cycle any longer.

  • You’re ready to divorce without destroying yourself, your children, or your future.

  • You want to avoid unnecessary legal fees, court drama, and public chaos.

  • You know you need help—but you’re not ready (or able) to drop $10K+ on private coaching or lawyers.

  • You crave a clear, smart, emotionally-grounded roadmap to walk you through this storm with your sanity intact.

  • You’re not interested in revenge—you’re interested in resolution, reinvention, and rising.

This is for the someone who wants to walk into their child’s graduation, wedding, or milestone one day and say:
“We did this without war. And I’m proud of that.”

Take Control of Your Divorce Journey

Divorce is overwhelming — but it doesn’t have to break you.
With the Better Divorce Blueprint,
you get a smarter, more affordable way to navigate the process.

Option ONE – The Course Only: $497

The Better Divorce Blueprint™ Self-Guided Experience

For the woman who’s ready to lead her own liberation.

You’ve been silenced, sidelined, and second-guessed long enough. Now, it’s time to take the reins and follow a proven path — one that brings order to the chaos and peace to your process.

The Better Divorce Blueprint™ gives you the exact roadmap, tools, and strategies I wish I had — so you can save time, money, and your sanity... without losing your soul.

Perfect if you:

  • Want to move at your own pace
  • Prefer private, independent learning
  • Are ready to take charge and avoid unnecessary drama

Investment: $497

“For women ready to follow the roadmap and take charge.”

Option TWO – The Full Experience: $997

The Better Divorce Blueprint™ + Live SKOOL Community + Coaching Calls

For the woman who knows healing happens best together. You’re not meant to navigate this alone.

When you join the full experience, you’ll get the entire Better Divorce Blueprint™ course plus twice-monthly live group coaching calls — where you can ask real questions, get personalized guidance, and connect with women who truly get it.

Together, we build courage, community, and clarity. This is where transformation deepens — in a sisterhood that listens, lifts, and leads each other home.

Perfect if you:

  • Want live guidance and accountability
  • Crave community and shared strength
  • Know you heal faster with connection and support

Investment: $997

“For women who want guidance, sisterhood, and live connection.”

No matter which path you choose,
one thing is clear:

ONLY $497

Value Over $7000

Better Divorce Blueprint — Choose Your Path

Two simple options, packed with life-changing tools. Select the one that fits your journey and take action today.

Essentials

Total Value: Over $7,000

You Pay Only $497

or 2 payments of $275

  • 📘 Full Access Online Course (Value: $4,997)
  • 📝 Workbook (Value: $497)
  • 🎧 Audiobook (Value: $297)
  • 🧰 Divorce Survival Kit (Value: $197)
  • 📂 Core Tools Templates & Checklists (Value: $497)
  • 👥 Private Group Community Access (Value: $497)
  • 💖 Peace of Mind Guarantee (Priceless)
  • ❌ Monthly Group Coaching Calls
🚀 Enroll Now

Includes Peace of Mind Guarantee.

Premium

Total Value: Over $9,000

You Pay Only $997

or 3 payments of $397

  • 📘 Full Access Online Course (Value: $4,997)
  • 📝 Workbook (Value: $497)
  • 🎧 Audiobook (Value: $297)
  • 🧰 Divorce Survival Kit (Value: $197)
  • 📂 Expanded Tools & Scripts Templates & Checklists (Value: $997)
  • 🎤 Monthly Group Coaching Calls with Paulette (Value: $1,997)
  • 👥 Private Group Community Access (Value: $997)
  • 💖 Peace of Mind Guarantee (Priceless)
🔥 Enroll Now

Everything in Essentials, plus coaching and expanded tools.

Better Divorce Blueprint™ is everything you need:

The Roadmap

A clear, step-by-step guide so you always know what’s ahead, what choices you’ll face, and how to move forward with confidence instead of confusion. No more stumbling in the dark—you’ll have direction.

The Scripts

The exact words to say in the hardest conversations—whether with your ex, your kids, or even your lawyer—so you feel prepared, grounded, and able to communicate without regret.

The Strategy

Proven approaches to protect your finances, your future, and your peace of mind. You’ll learn how to think several steps ahead and make decisions that serve you long-term, not just in the moment.

The Sanity

Emotional tools and mindset shifts that help you stay calm and strong when everything feels like it’s falling apart. You don’t just get through the process—you get through it with your dignity and self-worth intact.

Discover the Difference

The Old Way vs. The [Your Solution/Service] Way

Traditional methods of [describe the process or field, e.g., lead generation, customer onboarding] can often be time-consuming, inefficient, and costly. With [Your Solution/Service], we’ve transformed the process to be streamlined, effective, and designed for results.

Manually sorting and responding to emails

AI automatically categorizes and responds to routine emails

Constantly scheduling meetings manually

AI handles scheduling and rescheduling, saving you hours

Spending time organizing data and files

AI organizes your data and retrieves it in seconds

Tracking projects manually with spreadsheets

AI tracks project progress and sends automatic updates

Writing repetitive reports by hand

AI generates reports based on real-time data

Discover the Difference

The Old Way vs. The Better Divorce Blueprint Way

Traditional divorces are overwhelming, expensive, and emotionally draining. With the Better Divorce Blueprint, you’ll learn a smarter, calmer, and more cost-effective way to navigate divorce—without losing your mind, money, or years of your life.

Old Way

New Way

Manually Googling confusing legal, financial, and custody questions

Clear, step-by-step guidance tailored to your situation

Constantly juggling court dates, attorney emails, and paperwork

Organized checklists, timelines, and tools that simplify the process

Spending hours (and thousands of dollars) in attorney meetings

Proven strategies that save you time, stress, and money

Relying on friends’ stories or bad advice from the internet

Expert-backed education that puts you back in control

Feeling powerless and overwhelmed by the process

A blueprint that empowers you with confidence and clarity

Losing sleep over “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios

Practical support and emotional strategies to keep you grounded

Meet Paulette Rigo

As a Credentialed Private ADR Mediator, Certified Divorce Coach specializing in high conflict, Corporate HR Mediation and Divorce Consultant and member of numerous divorce professional organizations, I combine my personal and professional experience to create an outcome that saves an average of 45-75K in legal fees, 8-24 months in court, tons of bad decisions, emotional turmoil and heartache.

My own divorce was filled with many mistakes… I was unaware of what to do and how to do it until I realized a holistic approach would ease the ongoing conflict and allow me a more satisfying solution.

After almost nine years of legal struggles, I created Better Divorce Academy and Better Divorce Blueprint: Divorce made better and easier for you and your family.

I offer a confidential assessment to meet you where you are in the process.

Next I develop a customizable program to suit your personal needs and goals that may include:

  • Better Divorce Academy: 1:1 Coaching and Private ADR Mediation Services

  • Better Divorce Blueprint: The book, workbook, audio book and online course

  • The SKOOL Grey Sweater Club: Private Online Support Group

  • Best Life Ever Retreats: Healing After Narcissistic Abuse

  • 10 Day Divorce Recovery Crash Course 2026: Jumpstart the healing process

Imagine Six Months from Now…

You sleep through the night without panic or fear.

Your finances are organized and protected.

Your children feel safe and supported.

You’re calm, clear, and confident about your decisions.

You can look in the mirror and whisper, “I did this with grace.”

Better Divorce Blueprint™ Promise

Clarity.
Confidence.
Control.
Without the chaos.

To make your journey even easier, faster, and more powerful, you get access to 8 transformational Bonus Toolkits that cover everything the lawyers don’t, won’t, or can’t teach you.

Better Divorce Blueprint — Choose Your Path

Two simple options, packed with life-changing tools. Select the one that fits your journey and take action today.

Essentials

Total Value: Over $7,000

You Pay Only $497

or 2 payments of $275

Total of included items: $7,482

  • 📘 Full Access Online Course (Value: $4,997)
  • 📝 Workbook (Value: $497)
  • 🎧 Audiobook (Value: $297)
  • 🧰 Divorce Survival Kit (Value: $197)
  • 📂 Core Tools Templates & Checklists (Value: $497)
  • 👥 Private Group Community Access (Value: $497)
  • 💖 Peace of Mind Guarantee (Priceless)
  • ❌ Monthly Group Coaching Calls

Total of included items: $7,482

🚀 Enroll Now

Includes Peace of Mind Guarantee.

Premium

Total Value: Over $9,000

You Pay Only $997

or 3 payments of $397

Total of included items: $9,476

  • 📘 Full Access Online Course (Value: $4,997)
  • 📝 Workbook (Value: $497)
  • 🎧 Audiobook (Value: $297)
  • 🧰 Divorce Survival Kit (Value: $197)
  • 📂 Expanded Tools & Scripts Templates & Checklists (Value: $997)
  • 🎤 Monthly Group Coaching Calls with Paulette (Value: $1,997)
  • 👥 Private Group Community Access (Value: $997)
  • 💖 Peace of Mind Guarantee (Priceless)

Total of included items: $9,476

🔥 Enroll Now

Everything in Essentials, plus coaching and expanded tools.

Bonus Library

Powerful Action & Tried-and-True Wisdom

Clarity, costs, and financial rebuild.

  • Pre-Divorce Clarity Money, Cost and Rebuild
  • The Real Cost of Divorce
  • How to Money for Divorce Without Your Spouse Knowing
  • How to Keep a Money Journal to Amp Your Case
  • Rebuilding Your Financial Future After Divorce
  • Financial Discovery Prep Sheet

Legal Savvy & Court Confidence

Choose right counsel and prep for court.

  • How to Choose the Right Attorney for You
  • Family Law Attorney Interview Blueprint
  • Prepare to Work With a Family Law Attorney
  • Domestic Relations Financial Affidavit Walkthrough
  • How to Create Your Historical Timeline That Matters

Decisions & Direction

Questions, planning, values, and clarity.

  • 15 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Ask for a Divorce
  • How to Tell Your Spouse You Want a Divorce
  • Design Your Divorce in 28 Days (Mindset & Prep Calendar)
  • Mind-Map & Decision-Making Process
  • Wheel of Life & Core Values Exercises
  • GRACE Traits List

Mediation & Methods Mini Library

Options, court focus, and worksheets.

  • The Impactful Benefits of Private ADR Divorce Mediation
  • Five Methods of Divorce to Consider
  • Four Topics the Courts/Judges Are Concerned With
  • Method Match Worksheet
  • Court vs Kitchen Table Cheat Sheet

Communication Under Fire

Scripts, de-escalation, and safety.

  • Communication Under Fire
  • How to Communicate with a High-Conflict Spouse & Parallel Parent
  • BIFF the Bomb
  • Hard Talk, Low Drama Checklist
  • Hidden Abuse: Co-Dependency & Trauma Bonds
  • De-Escalation & Calm-Response Techniques

Parenting & Co-Parenting Confidence

Plans, templates, and guidance for kids.

  • Parenting & Co-Parenting Confidence
  • 50/50 Co-Parenting Plan Templates
  • 6 Only Messages Children Need to Know Before
  • What Children Need to Know After Divorce
  • Helping Children Thrive Through & After Divorce
  • 6 Stages of Divorce

Emotional Mastery: Calm Body, Steady Mind = Success

Breathwork, stress tools, identity rebuilding.

  • Emotional Mastery: Calm Body, Steady Mind = Success
  • Mind-Calming Meditation
  • 5 Qualities of Breath & Optimal Breath Cycle
  • Stress-Reduction Techniques Menu
  • Journal Prompts to Get Clear on Emotions
  • Confidence & Identity Rebuilding Plan

Divorce Team Builder & Pros

Who you need, what to ask, and inspiration.

  • Divorce Team Builder and Pros
  • Questions to Ask Other Divorce Professionals You May Need
  • Inspirational Divorce Success Stories
  • Divorce Team Building Checklist
  • Kolbe Index Orientation

Why Better Divorce Blueprint?

Divorce isn’t just a legal process — it’s an emotional earthquake that shakes the ground beneath everything you thought was solid.

It can leave you feeling terrified, angry, heartbroken, and alone — trapped in a fog of confusion, guilt, and exhaustion.

Maybe you were the one who made the decision and now carry the heavy weight of “what if.”

Or maybe you never saw it coming, and you feel blindsided, abandoned, or betrayed.

Here’s the truth: you are not your fear, your shame, or your sadness.

They are visitors — not your identity.

And when you have the right map, you can rise from the wreckage, stronger, wiser, and more grounded than ever before.

That’s exactly what Better Divorce Blueprint gives you — a step-by-step, soul-centered system to guide you through the chaos and out the other side with clarity, dignity, and power.

Each lesson helps you clear your mind, prepare strategically, protect your assets and your sanity, and rebuild your life — one wise, confident step at a time.

You don’t have to do this alone.

I’ll walk beside you, showing you exactly how to navigate the legal, financial, emotional, and spiritual maze of divorce — so you can move forward gracefully, on your terms.

Because your divorce doesn’t define you.

What you do next does.

Lesson ONE – Your Thought Process

How to Know?

  • Betting the farm on another relationship
  • We just don’t get along anymore
  • Staying together for the children

What is the Underlying Cause of Discontent?

What is your gut telling you?

  • Are you allowing ambiguity to advise you?
  • How to share your thought process?
  • What form of expression works best for you?

Lesson TWO – Feel Your Feelings

Dealing with emotions: anger, betrayal, loss, shock, numbness, confusion, panic

  • Living parallel lives
  • Feelings of disconnect, hostility and avoidance
  • Lack of intimacy
  • Experiencing the silent treatment
  • 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, negotiation, depression, acceptance
  • The 6th stage of grief: Finding meaning
  • Difference between normal and elevated stages

Lesson THREE – Deciding What You Want

  • Legal Divorce: Law is King
  • Financial Divorce: What’s love got to do with it?
  • Residential Divorce: Where the hell am I going to live?
  • What’s your price of exit: Being willing to let go of one goal to achieve another?
  • Be Careful Who To Trust
  • Taking full responsibility for your own emotions and actions - not others
  • Not taking on the responsibility of others’ emotions and actions
  • Common misbehavior as coping mechanisms: affairs, alcohol, lying, shopping, secrets, RX (irresponsibility)
  • Types of infidelity: emotional, sexual, mental, financial

Lesson FOUR – Deal Breakers

  • What is Abuse? 6 types: physical, sexual, mental, emotional, financial, spiritual
  • Domestic Violence
  • Counseling
  • Shelter: safety
  • 7 types of abuse: physical, sexual, financial, emotional, mental, psychological, spiritual

Lesson FIVE – Personality Disorder Symptoms

Common in high conflict relationships that lead to divorce

  • NPD: Control
  • BPD: Victimhood
  • Getting confirmation of diagnosis

Lesson SIX – Children Will Listen

  • What Is a Child-Centered Divorce?
  • Prevention and education
  • How to Talk with School teachers/Sports coaches
  • How much is TMI?
  • Signs of PAS and PE
  • Parenting Coordinators
  • Parenting Plans
  • Family Apps
  • Movies to Consider: “Split”, “Erased”

Review – Do Less, Feel More

  • What is the underlying cause of discontent?
  • Stages of grief: Feel your feelings
  • Deciding what YOU want and how to react to what your partner wants
  • Do you have any deal breakers?
  • Are you dealing with any personality issues?
  • Considering the kids

You can’t have too much information: Be calm, thorough and diligent.

  • Complicated process with many moving parts causes even the most composed individual to experience stress and confusion
  • The preliminary work to determine if divorce is the only option
  • Nail down your why: Setting intention and removing judgement
  • Length of marriage influences outcome: 1 in 4 divorce is with couples over 50 with high asset
  • Intro story: when the marriage is in question, it's time to question

Lesson ONE – How to Protect Yourself

  • Security system: “nest” type system
  • Shore up your financial position so you enter the divorce process prepared
  • Change ALL login and passwords: email, cell phone, credit cards, bank accounts
  • Open new accounts in your own name
  • Establish private communication
  • Remain vigilant
  • Delete social media (80% of evidence in divorce comes from Social Media)
  • Secure all accounts as single/solo account holder
  • Know exactly where all your valuables are and secure them
  • Make a list of your valuables
  • Change locks on doors
  • Do not share keys or codes
  • Stay calm and quiet, avoid gossip
  • Do not change your habits, friends or demeanor

Lesson TWO – Ways to End A Marriage

  • Know official Date of Separation (DOS): effects of passive and active assets, varies state to state
  • DIY: for young couples without children, it is possible — itsovereasy.com
  • Private Mediation: agreeable to transparency and negotiate with neutral party
  • Collaboration: both parties must be willing to partake, if one pulls out both parties must start over fresh
  • Arbitration: one authority makes binding decision with representation and no appeal
  • Litigation: 2 parties represented, judge makes final decision with appeal option
  • As a general rule, do not use DIY, mediation, collaborative methods if
  • a) you suspect your spouse is hiding assets/income
  • b) your spouse is domineering and you are afraid to speak up
  • c) there is an abuse of any kind
  • d) there is addiction

Lesson THREE – Mitigate Outside Influences

  • Effect of coming from a divorced family
  • Images of perfect marriage media/movies/culture
  • Fear of letting people down
  • Embarrassment, shame, guilt, fear
  • Religious repercussions
  • Opinions of others

Lesson FOUR – Deciding What Is Right For You

  • Peaceful: DIY
  • Cooperative: Mediated
  • Agreeable: Collaborated
  • Determined: Arbitrated
  • Adversarial: Litigation

Lesson FIVE – Practicing Mindfulness & Acceptance

  • Expertise in control of emotions vs emotions control you
  • Promoting mindfulness: Awareness of breath
  • 6 option questions
  • 10 Way forward questions
  • Negative and Positive labels
  • 5 growth questions

Lesson SIX – Honor Your Values

  • Define top values you want to honor: A to Z list to choose
  • Top 25, top 6
  • Access your top values in Career, Wealth, Family and friends, Fun and recreation, Wellness, Love life, personal and spiritual development, physical environment
  • How are they being expressed and NOT being expressed in each category
  • 8 Reality test questions (all from Kim Saeed)

Review – Take Control

  • How to secure your protection
  • There is more than one way to end a marriage
  • Navigating outside influences
  • Deciding what is best for your desired outcome
  • Awareness and acceptance is key
  • Always honor your top values

Intro: What to do before filing

  • Discovery and gathering
  • Maintaining control of our life through organization
  • “Conflict Out" all the top divorce lawyers
  • Techniques: stall and delay, exert pressure to proceed too quickly, deny access to financial resources, hide assets, fail to pay court ordered support or refuse to relinquish assets, falsely claim their wives as abusers, use fraud or coercion to obtain credit using their wives’ names.
  • 8 common places spouses hide money
  • ATRO: prevents the movement of money or documents
  • Intro story: I trusted my spouse and I trusted the process. Hard drive stolen, took papers to shred and kept them

Lesson ONE – Ignorance is Not Bliss

  • Collect, Gather and Copy all documents, paperwork and bills
  • Check your credit report
  • Will, POA, HCP
  • Mortgage: Title and Deed
  • Insurance: Home, health, life and other
  • Bank accounts
  • Birth Certificates
  • Driver’s license
  • Passports (Children’s too)
  • Social security cards
  • Investments: stock, bonds etc
  • Retirement Accounts: Roth, IRA
  • Safety deposit box contents and key

Lesson TWO – Importance of a Budget

  • Use Mint or QuickBooks for finances
  • Create a “real and Ideal” profile to include: Income and expenses; Support needed; Marital home maintenance; Debt (separate and marital); Detailed budget
  • Create ideal proposal that is consistent with financial picture
  • Have a CDFA create a lifestyle analysis for you: 1) day-to-day living expenses incurred during the marriage 2) the spending habits of both you and your spouse spent on average basis month to month and year to year. These calculations will be used as a guide to help you develop a budget.
  • Keep finances secure and private

Lesson THREE – Collecting Evidence

  • Papers
  • Photos (70% of evidence comes from social media)
  • Email
  • Text messages
  • Phone voice mail
  • Video
  • Tangible evidence: What to do when you can’t get all the documents, facts and numbers
  • Lack of cooperation, secrets, lies or missing information
  • Finding hidden assets, business, real estate, degrees, licenses, money, relationships, agreements with outside parties
  • Private investigators
  • Forensic accountants
  • Trust your instincts and keep your eyes and ears open

Lesson FOUR – Managing all the paperwork

  • Accordion file for all records and hard copy documents
  • Digital files (downloads)
  • Household paperwork
  • Email documents
  • Online documents
  • Friends

Lesson FIVE – How to Choose Advocates

  • Friends
  • Family
  • Business associates and partners
  • Professional references
  • Real Estate Appraiser
  • Business Evaluator
  • Private Investigator
  • Forensics

Lesson SIX – Planners, Calendars and Journals, oh my

  • Buy a separate one to use throughout the journey
  • Calendar is for appointments
  • Journal is for emotions
  • Planner is for goals
  • Managing to do lists
  • Be topic oriented
  • Stay organized

Review – Prep Your Steps

  • Open your eyes
  • A budget is not an option
  • When in doubt... collect and copy it
  • Who are your “friends”?
  • What to do when facts are missing
  • You need a planner, calendar and journal and safeguard it!!
  • Keep your cool under pressure
  • Learn how to delegate responsibility
  • Keep your sights set firmly on the future
  • Building your stamina and practicing the art of extreme self care

Lesson ONE – Let Your Wellness Journey Begin

  • Get a health physical, dental and optometrist appointments
  • The journey can lead to depression, illness, and long term negative health effects if the root issues are not addressed early in the process
  • What is extreme self care?
  • How can preparing for divorce make a difference for your future?

Lesson TWO – Is Professional Help Needed?

  • Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW)
  • Psychologist/Psychiatrist
  • Counselor, Clinician, Therapist
  • Family Reunion Specialist
  • Certified Life Coach
  • Certified Divorce Coach
  • Career Coach

Lesson THREE – Managing Stress

  • Going it alone and keeping a brave front will only get you so far
  • The attempt to make it appear as though nothing is wrong will not last long before the internal effects of divorce slowly begin to cause all kinds of signs and symptoms of stress
  • Feelings of “falling apart”: not functioning normally
  • Critical to take care of yourself to be able to take care of others and manage the process
  • Others will be watching you to see how you manage the stress
  • Children model their reactions on what they see, hear and experience

Lesson FOUR – Caring for Mind & Body

  • Meditation
  • Reading
  • Listening to relaxing music
  • Walks in nature
  • Reflect on other practices that you would like to develop to take care of your mind.
  • Slipping into negative habits: only eating comfort food, not eating enough, staying up late, not wanting to work out, not being able to sleep
  • Create a regular fitness routine 3 times a week
  • Try a yoga class!!
  • Massage
  • Eat healthy and well-balanced diet that is mostly plant based
  • Consider supplements and vitamins with guidance of MD
  • Get enough sleep each night
  • Rest anytime you can (yoga nidra)
  • Drink half your weight in ounces each day
  • Dry skin brushing, tongue scraping, oil pulling
  • Remove toxins from your bathroom and kitchen (cleaners, detergents, toiletries etc)

Lesson FIVE – Caring for Your Soul

  • Divorce forces you to reflect on your past values, beliefs and the meaning in your life up to this point.
  • We often explore religion, spirituality and their values in an effort to make sense and cope with the overwhelming change we are experiencing.
  • Exploration is normal but stay grounded
  • Be willing to open yourself up to a greater connection to self and the Universe and spiritual source
  • Meditation
  • Join a support group
  • Read the Bible or books that explore spirituality
  • Try healing work i.e. Reiki, EMDR, EFT
  • Journal your emotions, thoughts and reflections

Lesson SIX – Get Creative

  • What brought you joy in the past?
  • What do you want your life to look like in the future?
  • How do you view change?
  • Who do you want to be in the future?
  • How do you want to look back at this experience 10 years from now?
  • How can you simplify your life to allow yourself to feel calm, centred and prepared for the future?
  • Who do you need to support you?

Review – Now is the time for self care

  • If not now...when?
  • Don’t go it alone
  • Stress is a killer
  • Self care is not an option
  • Nurture your soul
  • Time to ask questions
  • Get Familiar with the process: Don’t go it alone
  • Three pillars of support
  • Professionals, friends and family, YOU.
  • You need to bring your A game too
  • Intro story: I used my lawyer as a therapist and it cost a fortune

Lesson ONE – Know the Law

  • Read the laws in your state and become familiar with them
  • In most cases you cannot disinherit your spouse until the divorce is final: change will, medical directive, living will etc can be changed
  • Make copy of the laws
  • Uncontested vs contested
  • Default
  • Annulment
  • The Hearsay rule (twice)
  • Equitable distribution state vs common property state
  • Know what you are responsible for
  • Know what you are entitled to
  • Grounds
  • Residency
  • Legal separation
  • Ending common law marriage

Lesson TWO – Find family law attorney

  • Research top notch professionals and get referrals
  • Conflicting out top attorneys: attorney-client relationship prevents your spouse from being able to use them
  • Interview 3 attorneys: what to ask?
  • Understand what your attorney needs from you
  • Understand the difference between marital and separate property
  • Cost of attorney: retainer and billing
  • Working with an attorney
  • Paralegal and legal clerks
  • Legal document preparer
  • Organization of documents
  • Phone calls and emails
  • Paying for/affording
  • Be friendly with the receptionist

Lesson THREE – Find Financial Experts

  • What to ask CPA?
  • What to ask CFP?
  • What to ask CDFA?
  • Create a lifestyle analysis with CDFA for verification of net worth and income and expenses submitted by both spouses
  • Bank professionals
  • Bookkeepers
  • Business valuator
  • Forensic accountant
  • Health and life insurance agent
  • Hidden costs of divorce
  • Avoid common mistakes: Close joint accounts with creditors, Freeze accounts that can’t be closed
  • Reaching financial agreement
  • Grow credit
  • Protect credit
  • Stay on top of finances

Lesson FOUR – Find mental health practitioners

  • Psychologist
  • Psychiatrist
  • Licensed clinical social worker
  • Counselor, clinician, therapist
  • Coaches: CDC and CDS
  • Certified Life Coach
  • Career Coach
  • Guardian Ad Litem
  • Family reunification specialist
  • Parenting coordinators
  • Child advocates
  • Reaching custodial agreement

Lesson FIVE – Communicating with Family and Friends

  • Go slow: bite sized communication
  • Three reasons you shouldn’t listen to divorce advice from family and friends: 1) every divorce is unique 2) A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing 3) You can find the professional help you need
  • Be judicious when discussing your divorce with family and friends: keep in mind that every type of electronic communication has the potential to leave a digital trail (can and will be used against you)
  • AAML American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers: 92% of cases using evidence from smartphones
  • Less is better: keep your tribe tight
  • Gossip is common
  • Simple is best
  • Consider minimalism

Lesson SIX – Mediators & Other Pros

  • Mediators
  • Benefits of mediation
  • Mediation process
  • Business evaluators
  • Private investigators
  • Insurance professionals: life, medical
  • Find divorce real estate specialists
  • Commercial real estate professional
  • Mortgage professional
  • Title agent
  • Estate/jewelry appraiser
  • Property and casualty insurance agent
  • Property appraiser
  • Home stager
  • Professional home organizer
  • Sensitivity of kids: toys, clothes, sports equipment, etc

Review – Your team is your hero

  • Being familiar with the laws in your state is important
  • Establishing a relationship with a solid family attorney is vital
  • Secure financial and real estate experts
  • Your mental health is only as good as your support team
  • Freeze communications with family and friends
  • Mediation is worth considering
  • How to tell them?
  • How to protect them?
  • How to deal with conflict?
  • How to answer their questions?
  • How to support them?
  • Intro story: trusted the process and spouse to do the right thing, we had NO plan and it was a mess, kids suffered as a result of our lack of preparation and parent alienation

Lesson ONE – Child Centered Divorce

  • How to tell
  • How much to tell
  • Story book
  • Teacher and school
  • Coaches and activities
  • Friends
  • Home life adjustments of having 2 homes
  • Living with 2 sets of rules
  • Parent Alienation
  • Estrangement

Lesson TWO – Custody and Visitation

  • The courts POV
  • Parenting plans: options
  • Communication: co-parenting
  • My Family Wizard/Coparently
  • Legal custody
  • Physical custody
  • Joint custody
  • Modifications

Lesson THREE – Child Support

  • Purpose of child support
  • Temporary support
  • Calculating support
  • How is it paid?
  • Tracking payments
  • Due dates
  • Non-payment
  • Adjusting/modifying support

Lesson FOUR – Alimony (AKA Spousal support)

  • National Alimony Tax Reform Act 2018
  • How is alimony awarded?
  • Temporary support during process
  • How many years have the couple been married?
  • Is there going to be alimony?
  • If so, how much?
  • Who will be paying?
  • Tracking payment: direct deposit
  • Non-payment
  • Modifications
  • Insurance to protect: medical and life insurance policies

Lesson FIVE – The waiting game

  • Therapy: finding experts that support their mindfulness and wellness
  • Moving forward
  • Watchful eye
  • Compassion
  • Patience
  • Love your kids more than you hate your ex
  • How do you want to look back at this experience 5 years, 10+ years from now and remember it?

Lesson SIX – Parent alienation and estrangement

  • What is PAS?
  • Statistics of PAS
  • How to battle PAS?
  • How to cope with PAS?
  • Movie “Erased”
  • Movie “Split”

Review – Kids Come First

  • The children come first as best you can
  • Create a parenting plan that considers what’s best for them
  • Child support is for the kids
  • What to expect and how to secure your future
  • It isn’t over until it’s over
  • Don’t think it can’t happen to you
  • It’s all over, now what?
  • Rework “Grace, Release, Acceptance, Challenge, Embrace”
  • Revisit the pathway to peace: Denial, Acknowledgement, Acceptance, Peace
  • What is the elephant in the room?
  • Learning to not repeat the same patterns
  • Noticing “disruptors” “distractors”
  • Intro story: the unknown is both scary and exciting. Your body and mind don’t know the difference.

Lesson ONE – Regroup and reevaluate

  • Family
  • Friends
  • Work
  • Habits and patterns
  • Emotions
  • Budget
  • Who to keep and who to let go of
  • Surrender and allow

Lesson TWO – How to Step off the Spinning Wheel

  • Let the healing begin
  • Sleep Therapy: (yoga nidra)
  • Coaching is key
  • Keep a Journal: learn to trust the voice of your soul
  • Revisit Mindful Meditation: (Calm, Sanctuary)
  • Practice living in the NOW: breath work
  • Power of Attraction

Lesson THREE – Explore Your Possibilities

  • Discover new you by journaling, writing, travel, exploring hidden talents and revisiting old passions
  • Get excited about the future: get inspired (Ted talks, documentaries, lectures, adult education, etc)
  • New possibilities are found in meditation, finding stillness
  • Get out there: join groups, meetups, volunteering, clubs
  • Commit to trying new foods, new experiences, new friends

Lesson FOUR – Dating and Beyond

  • If you need to take a break
  • If you need to let go of old relationships
  • How to know when you are ready
  • How to find a new partner
  • Who is right for you?
  • Not jumping in too soon
  • Sex in a new age
  • Loving too soon
  • When and how to introduce someone to the kids
  • How to deal with the pressure and opinions of family and friends

Lesson FIVE – Let go of the old to make room for the new

  • Minimalism vs. Essentialism
  • Why we hold on?
  • What’s holding you back?
  • Grasping, hoarding, stuckness and rigid thinking

Lesson SIX – Adventures in Freedom

  • Learning to play
  • Finding joy
  • Feeling joy
  • Permission to live life on your terms
  • Learning to smile again
  • Create a Bucket list

Review – The Future is Yours

  • Time to reevaluate your relationships
  • Press pause
  • Explore all the possibilities
  • Dating in the digital age
  • Making room
  • What does adventure feel like envisioning your new life ahead of you?
  • List 10 new things you wish to do now that you were afraid of or couldn’t do before.
  • How have your emotions changed envisioning your new life ahead?
  • Know Yourself - Socrates
  • How to Look forward…not back
  • You Won’t Reach them if you don’t write them down
  • Intro story: selling everything, moving to Belize, getting remarried, moving to an agrihood and starting a new business, letting go of toxic relationships and living my best life would NEVER have seemed possible 10 years ago.

Lesson ONE – Create a Financial Future

  • Transferring ownership
  • Creating a NEW budget that reflects your new values and lifestyle
  • Commit to consistency
  • Update insurance
  • Protect credit: get reports, dispute any discrepancies
  • Evaluate priorities moving forward: financial security post divorce
  • Update accounts, develop a comprehensive financial plan, build your credit, seek help from an experienced financial advisor, add other experienced to your post divorce team, estate planning attorney, therapist, vocational counselor, keep copies of certified divorce decree, close all joint accounts, remove ex spouse name from all remaining accounts

Lesson TWO – To Change or Not to Name Change

  • Birth name
  • Keep married name
  • Combination
  • Social security
  • Driver’s license
  • Passport
  • Financials
  • Credit cards
  • Mortgage/deed
  • Insurance

Lesson THREE – Goal Setting

  • Sankalpa (resolve)
  • Mind mapping
  • Writing your dharma code
  • Writing your sankalpa (short term goal)
  • Writing your vikalpa (sabotage)
  • Possibilities: move, work, friends, dreams, relationships, freedom

Lesson FOUR – New Love Is Possible

  • The statistics are not good!
  • New hope / New life / New future
  • Take control of your destiny
  • Be aware of repeating old patterns
  • Communication is everything
  • Do not take on someone else’s grief or negativity
  • Be responsible for yourself
  • Stay open to possibilities

Lesson FIVE – Extreme self care

  • Self esteem/self confidence work
  • Mirror work: self love is not narcissism
  • You can heal your life: thoughts are energy
  • Wellness: and healing work of yoga, chiropractic, bodywork
  • Functional/integrative medicine: baseline blood work
  • Take Time For Your Life
  • Stand up for your life
  • Life makeovers
  • Continuing to find GRACE everyday

Lesson SIX – Celebrate Every Success

  • What was my lesson?
  • Who am I now? …How am I different?
  • Who do I cherish? …Who cherishes me?
  • What are my goals? … How will I achieve them?
  • Never stop unlearning
  • Never stop growing
  • Never stop loving

Review – There are no mistakes only lessons

  • Take control of your new life on paper
  • Is changing your name worth it?
  • Setting actionable and accountable goals
  • The possibility of new love
  • The priority of taking care of you
  • Setting boundaries with Ex
  • Take photos of your goals and keep them close to you to review
  • Stay current and forward moving
  • Know you are not your past
  • Celebrate each small win

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